although I'm sleep deprived to a point bordering on delirium,
i have been gifted by the presence of students
and so diverse racially, ethnically and culturally.
all students of color (!)
a situation so rarely accessible to me as an instructor.
typically of courses born of disciplines dominated by white people, most of them white males.
A situation I chose (I ran to. I needed to feel useful) -- the move inspired by a hope.
that I could introduce at least a (precious) few traditionally marginalized and invisible perspectives
to the academic mainstream.
this statement is about them. the students:)
who took themselves seriously
who took their work seriously
who sat with me and worked.
who appreciated my comments.
who try and try and try and try (that's all I ask:)
to progress as students
who laughed at my jokes
who compelled me to laugh at theirs
oh the laughter we shared
who did not (appear) to fear my particular intersection of identities:)
i.e., happily butch queer cross-dressing (transgressing) woman black
(social identities not arranged in order of importance
but in the order of that which I fear. will alienate.
provoke fear in
prompt resistance to etc etc)
(so much rage in me so much rage. I manage to push back. push away. mostly:)
but not today.
no alienation/fear/resistance/ today. and
ain't it grand!
today, having been awake for more hours than my body and mind has been able to cheerfully withstand
a good day
one of the best.
even without yourLove, my darling
even without FemmetouchFemmesmellFemmesofemmesofemmesofemme
even without. you. her. (so long ago now)
(maybe you were there...today with me always i know. i forget i know)
such a good day
a lit up by blessings day:)